Now we have talked a lot about Leadership and where it comes from. We also realise that Leadership is more then just skills, it is a balance between self-understanding and our attitudes towards others.
Now here we will look at one skill that is so important that I will urge all of you to practice until you make it a habit. Now imagine you are at a party, and you don't really want to be there. It just so happens that your boss sent you here to 'network'. For those of you not working, it could be a camp you been to or an orientation event and you are meeting so many new people at one time, and it is overwhelming! Now if you have name cards, you most probably will be giving out a handful and then collecting a handful for yourself. So in the end do you really know which name card belongs to who? Some cards have pictures and that helps but what if there were no pictures? and my goodness, what if you had 3 Andrews and you couldn't pick out the difference.
The point I'm making here is that we cannot allow ourselves to remember people's name through a game of 'Wacko' or simple ice breakers. We need to understand the importance of names.
Read this and think about it:
"Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language."
Dale Carnegie Principle #6 from How to Win Friends and Influence People
Mr Carnegie has been a fore-founder to the whole self-help genre and look at the words he has used to describe a person's name. "Sweetest" and "most important sound" and I'm sure you agree with this as well. You know when I'm outside and I hear "Jonathan!", I almost immediately turn my head to look, its almost instinctively. And then I see it was another Jonathan being called so I look away and pretend nothing happened. I don't know about you but Jonathan is a pretty common name so I get this from time to time. But the rational here is so simple, we are drawn to our name as it represents our identity and who we are.
Right right, so now you tell me that names are important. However, I know this too! I know that remembering names is essential for positive first impressions and human relations. BUT no matter how I try, I just can't do it! I just can't remember names. I was born that way!
If you feel like any of the above statements then you are just fine, as most people in the world cannot remember names just like that. But think, could you remember the name of your first crush easily? Could you remember the name of that CEO whom you are tasked by your boss to make acquaintances with? Or maybe your favourite band and all the names of the band members and the meaning of their names and their birthday and star signs. As humans, we unconsciously rank and list things around us in terms of importance. So surely that CEO's name is more important then that Junior Executive you met at the bar or was it the dessert counter? You can't even remember where you met sometimes. Our perceptions on people have to change and only then can we work towards remembering their names.
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Lets stop here for the time being, I will put up more information on specific techniques towards remembering names but remember, when talking to a person, use his or her name within the conversation and slowly they will open up and you will also relate their name to their face. This is one very simple way in which we help our mind associate. Finally, whether the name is a gain or the name is a pain, falls back on how you use it. Use it wisely.
Jonathan Szeto has been working with youth and teens for many years and wants to encourages everyone to find that Leader in them. For more information on Leadership for Teens, Becoming an Effective Leader and Using Leadership to Create Change please visit http://the-effective-leader.blogspot.com/
Now here we will look at one skill that is so important that I will urge all of you to practice until you make it a habit. Now imagine you are at a party, and you don't really want to be there. It just so happens that your boss sent you here to 'network'. For those of you not working, it could be a camp you been to or an orientation event and you are meeting so many new people at one time, and it is overwhelming! Now if you have name cards, you most probably will be giving out a handful and then collecting a handful for yourself. So in the end do you really know which name card belongs to who? Some cards have pictures and that helps but what if there were no pictures? and my goodness, what if you had 3 Andrews and you couldn't pick out the difference.
The point I'm making here is that we cannot allow ourselves to remember people's name through a game of 'Wacko' or simple ice breakers. We need to understand the importance of names.
Read this and think about it:
"Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language."
Dale Carnegie Principle #6 from How to Win Friends and Influence People
Mr Carnegie has been a fore-founder to the whole self-help genre and look at the words he has used to describe a person's name. "Sweetest" and "most important sound" and I'm sure you agree with this as well. You know when I'm outside and I hear "Jonathan!", I almost immediately turn my head to look, its almost instinctively. And then I see it was another Jonathan being called so I look away and pretend nothing happened. I don't know about you but Jonathan is a pretty common name so I get this from time to time. But the rational here is so simple, we are drawn to our name as it represents our identity and who we are.
Right right, so now you tell me that names are important. However, I know this too! I know that remembering names is essential for positive first impressions and human relations. BUT no matter how I try, I just can't do it! I just can't remember names. I was born that way!
If you feel like any of the above statements then you are just fine, as most people in the world cannot remember names just like that. But think, could you remember the name of your first crush easily? Could you remember the name of that CEO whom you are tasked by your boss to make acquaintances with? Or maybe your favourite band and all the names of the band members and the meaning of their names and their birthday and star signs. As humans, we unconsciously rank and list things around us in terms of importance. So surely that CEO's name is more important then that Junior Executive you met at the bar or was it the dessert counter? You can't even remember where you met sometimes. Our perceptions on people have to change and only then can we work towards remembering their names.
---------------------------------------
Lets stop here for the time being, I will put up more information on specific techniques towards remembering names but remember, when talking to a person, use his or her name within the conversation and slowly they will open up and you will also relate their name to their face. This is one very simple way in which we help our mind associate. Finally, whether the name is a gain or the name is a pain, falls back on how you use it. Use it wisely.
Jonathan Szeto has been working with youth and teens for many years and wants to encourages everyone to find that Leader in them. For more information on Leadership for Teens, Becoming an Effective Leader and Using Leadership to Create Change please visit http://the-effective-leader.blogspot.com/
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